TIME.
It's a word I've been thinking a lot about recently. The concept seems simple enough. No matter how much it seems to be standing still the next minute is still a mere 60 seconds away. Even though time has not changed, our perception of it sure does. I am rarely satisfied with my time. I'm either looking forward to the next thing hoping beyond hope that time would go faster, "My vacation is in two weeks, but I wish I were on the beach now!" or I wish it would slow down, "If I only had time for sleep, I would feel more rested!" But regardless of how hard I wish, it stays the same. I always get a chuckle when my husband calls me from work in the afternoon and says, "Wow, I can't believe it's already 2:30! This day sure has flown by." My first thought is "2:30?!?! That's it? Feels like it should be bedtime already!" Now we both lived in the same exact time but have very different perspectives of it. .
This is only in the context of one day. What about the years. My daughter is almost 4. In some regards I can't believe she's going to be 4. It seems like yesterday she was crawling around with drool hanging out of mouth, but at the same time it's hard for me to imagine life before her and it was only 4 years ago. On one hand it seems long and the on the other very short.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and we dedicated our youngest at church. After the dedication we received a packet with a certificate, a Bible, and a sealed letter. This letter is addressed to our daughter from our pastor for her to open on her 10th birthday. "To be opened on October 5, 2021". 2021? My husband and I both looked at each other. "That's so weird!", he said. All I could think was in 10 short years she'll go from this spit-upy mess to a person with her own thoughts and feelings about life and God. She will actually be able to read this letter herself!
No matter how much I want it to speed up (oh how I would love to go out to eat with our children and sit and talk with no fits and spills) or slow down (sometimes I just want to hang on to the baby lotion and snuggles and bottle it forever), time marches on. Once its gone. Its gone. You can't get the last second back any more than you can make the next second come faster. All we have is the now. So the question is: What will I do with it?
I want to choose to live in every present moment for what it is. I want to stop wishing my seconds away. Instead, I choose to embrace the feverish baby at 3am that just needs snuggled, and on those really hard days when my children turn against me, I choose to be thankful that I'm at home and get to experience those hard days so I can fully appreciate the good ones. I choose to hug and kiss my kids as much as I can so they will never question how I feel about them and because October 5th 2021 will be here soon enough. And, I choose to give these precious moments of time over to God. That His name will be glorified with the time I have here.
And time goes by...
