Grace in the Moment

A few weeks ago, I had the privileged of putting my 3 year old to bed. Now, I say that with all sincerity. Most nights I'm nursing the baby when it's bedtime, and my husband heads up the stories, books, prayers and songs routine before bed. However, this particular night I was available, and marched her up the stairs looking forward to spending some extra time chatting. I read her one of her favorite books, and then we started talking about all the things we were going to do the next day. We prayed together for a good nights sleep and good choices the next day and then we did our kisses routine. We do heart kisses (her own invention), butterfly kisses, muga muga kisses, and blowing kisses. I felt very good about our time together, and I said goodnight and turned to leave and when it happened. "I need some water" came a tiny voice. I took a deep breath and got her some water. Then turned to leave again. "Mommmmmmmmmy, can you sing me our favorite song?" My first thought was REALLY???? I just spent the last 15 minutes giving you my undivided attention, and you're going to start pulling this tonight? Again deep breath. Oh how quickly my good feeling was quickly turning to impatience and frustration. I had a lot of things to do. The kitchen needed cleaned and I had a stack of mail to go through. Like any mother of young children, I covet the hours from 8:30 to 10:30pm. I knew she was taking advantage of me being there, so I then clarified with her that after the song I would be going. I sang the song, kissed her again, and left the room. I was about 4 steps down the stairs when I hear, "Mommmmmy". I turned and was fully ready to enter the room and announce the age old, "You will go to bed right now, or else...." when I stopped. Something inside me (most likely the Holy Spirit) stopped me. I calmed myself with again a deep breath, and I entered the room to calmly ask what was needed. She reply's, "I love you mommy, goodnight" in a sweet voice. After responding I left the room, and again around the 4th step down I stopped, and was almost driven to tears when I thought how close I came to missing that blessing. If I had barged in with a stern voice and threats, I know I would have never heard those words. How many of those moments have I missed in the past because I respond in frustration, anger, impatience, or sometimes just tiredness?
My heart broke.
This is the opposite of what I want to be accomplishing as parent. I want to foster a relationship where my children can talk to me freely about anything, anytime, anywhere. But, do I really act that way? Do I show them that I'm available like that? Or do I constantly communicate that I have something better to do?
Gut check.
Now I know she's only 3 years old and we're talking about a drink of water before bed, but I also know that all to soon she'll be 10 and need to talk about a friend hurting her feelings, or 15 and it'll be that boy in science class. Or what about when it's the big questions, like: Why isn't God answering my prayers? What will I communicate to her then? Will she see the laundry and clean toilets as more important than her? Or will I be able to drop everything, pull the carton of ice cream from the freezer, and listen? I pray in those moments I will be able to stop again. I know in the future I will most likely do or say something that discourages my child from communicating, but I can confidently say I will make sure that it will happen less often. And, I will continue to pray that God gives me grace so I can give my children grace in the moment.